So here I am writing another blog and yet again I am not sure how to start it. This blog is about my journey to the person I am today and the person I will be in the future. So here I go as most of you reading this you know my life could have been better a lot better. I have struggled a lot with mental health and I’m fed up with dealing with the shitty thoughts in my head which try and stop me from being happy, I want to live my life again not wish that I didn’t have a life.

The first journey took place on may 20th 2015 and is still an ongoing journey in my life. This is the day I got hospitalised with anorexia nervous oh how much I hate hearing the name anorexia. That was one tough year with so many ups and downs. My journey with anorexia was a rollercoaster, there are day where I want to give up on recovering I feel like what’s the point and there are others days where I’m like I’m going to kick anorexia in the butt and show it who is boss. I guess I struggle a lot with my body image, I have so many insecurities due to this stupid disease. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. What this journey has taught me is that there is so much more to life than just caring about what everyone thinks about me, if they don’t like me then that’s there own problem that’s not mine. This is more to life than anorexia.

My second journey is with depression which is also an ongoing journey. Depression is a harder subject for me to talk about especially when I am just at the start of this journey. Everyday for me is hard with depression because in my mind it’s like I am in a swimming pool and I’m right at the deep end drowning, trying to get air but I can’t cause all the shitty bad thoughts are drowning me, they keep pulling me down and I am trying to keep my head above the water but it’s hard. I am now getting help for my depression because I want to get my life back, I want to go somewhere in my life and right now I can’t see my future because I’m so down that I just want to die but I won’t let that happen to me I am stronger than that. This journey I am on has taught me that life can get better, if you choose to get better and you choose help and you choose to let even one person in, I promise you it is worth it, it is worth being happy, please choose recovery.

As I write these blogs to help other people in a way they help me, they help me get my thoughts out.

I’m on top of the world and I won’t look back, the only way is forward there is no point looking behind me wondering what if I wasn’t like this, what if this didn’t happen because it did and I can’t change anything and I don’t know if I would cause I wouldn’t be the person I am today and I wouldn’t have met the important people in my life